Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

Yeah! I made it! A second post is actually happening, this just means that now I’m fully committed and willing to devote a small amount of MY time voicing MY opinion and telling MY story… I guess (perhaps a bit too much about me).

Moving forward… Immediately I thought this week I would start by reflecting on the things which have changed this past year, and then everything else which has remained a constant. And looking back there actually aren’t that many ‘sames’ in my life which I guess could be taken as a positive or a negative… I’ll leave that for the over-thinkers to ponder on (like myself)

So let me begin by saying I’m writing this as accurate and as emotion filled as I possibly can because I want to be completely honest and not tell some boring half-baked ‘story’ (if you’d call it that) what would be the point otherwise? It would have been about a year ago now that I started university, Aston to be exact studying marketing, I feel like I already mentioned that! So it probably would have been freshers week, where it all ‘kicked’ off and not being the usual party type I wasn’t that set on going out each night, getting drunk, having an obligatory kebab and then waking up the next morning feeling totally fragile. Don’t get me wrong I’m not a total introverted recluse, I did go out, have fun and all the rest. I was on the winning team of the 2015 freshers pub quiz, so don’t ever underestimate the power of a store of useless facts and pop knowledge. Anyway… that awkwardness out of the way, I made some good friends, chatted and introduced myself to every other fresher with the usual; Hi, I’m Liam, what are you studying? That went on pretty much the whole 7 weeks I was at uni which was pretty annoying…

To fast forward a little and get to the ‘juice’ (if you’d call it that) my time there was good, but clearly not good enough for my little head to handle. There were moments where I thought ‘I can do this, I could leave with a first’ and there was the other extreme that was ‘Just drop out, you’ve never actually wanted this, you don’t have to follow the crowd’ in the end it was the more independent self-thoughts that won and from that I’m completely glad that I was able to listen to myself and not just obey what all of my friends at the time were doing. The lesson here being, just do you and it’s pretty difficult to go wrong. Although I did learn some things about myself at university and the direction I wanted to go in, it was a pretty expensive 7 weeks, luckily I didn’t go the whole year and blow my entire salary of my current job in one go (that would have been tragic).

That was how university and career paths and life played with my head. But at the same time, as always there were other things going on in the background that to me meant a lot more than things in the background should. I don’t want to completely break-down because right now I can’t I’m just not in that place anymore but I suffered… It was a low, perhaps the lowest I’ve ever felt but now I can say, it happened and if there are days where I feel that way I can move past them and occupy my mind with the positives or just talk to myself (insanity) about what it is that’s getting to me. Call it depression, anxiety or just human that doesn’t matter what does is seeking help and not allowing it to get any worse, other cases can be more extreme self-harm, psychosis, eating disorders. In some ways I was lucky to never have experienced any of these but emotions and thoughts are dangerous and it should never get that far, that someone should have to result to creating their own little coping mechanism to deal with the emotional, anxiety filled pain.

I’m not trying to be an agony aunt neither am I trying to say that everything is going to be OK because it’s probably not, but it helps to talk and express yourself a little. Now when I feel low or empty I listen to music, I leave the house having no reason to, I talk to a friend (or anyone) and most of the time this feels way better than just staring out of a window or sitting in a closed room crying to yourself because you feel completely inadequate, like you’re worth nothing. To anyone.

Maybe I did get a bit too emotional putting that into words but who actually cares, because right now I don’t! Everyone is the same with their own subtle differences, some more than others but emotions are felt by all of us, knowing how to control and nurture them is perhaps where we go wrong.

Wow… So I think now you can see where things have gone in the past year, currently I’m an apprentice accounts assistant (sounds pretty fancy) and studying for AAT Level 4 Professional Diploma in Accountancy. Which to most is kind of basic but like I said who actually cares, I enjoy it… for now 🙂

Who knows where I’ll be in another years time, the age 20 sounds pretty scary but I’m sure I’ll cope with it (some how), until next week!

 

LIAM OUT!

P.S. Thank you to those of you read, liked or even just glanced over my first post, that acknowledgement actually meant a lot, also apologies for the soppiness you just witnessed, but someone had to cover this subject x

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Intros and Welcomes

Ordinarily I hope I’ll get to the point of writing a post and knowing exactly what to say and how it should be worded so that I don’t look like a complete newbie (which of course I am). But now we have that awkward opening part out-of-the-way I guess I should introduce myself and say hi I’m Liam. Liam Thompson. A pretty not so chill teen from lets say the West Midlands in the UK (for all those international readers obv), at the moment I’m currently an accounts apprentice at a small-ish property business which you could say is going well, but we’ll get to that part later on I’m sure. Just to cut short anymore boring brief background information about myself I’ve decided to start this blog in order to voice my own opinions and express myself a little more, because I kind of feel that it will help me through (like every other blogger before me) and hopefully… eventually I will inspire others to do the same!

As I said before ‘not so chill’ the reasoning being because there are actually so many little small problems, call them OCD’s, which worry me and as a guy it isn’t really expressed or spoken about on any kind of scale. So to do this you could say is a pretty big step for man and mankind. I also apologise in advance for my jumpy, sometimes broken writing skills; English was never my strong point at school and this probably outlines why but I’m going to go ahead and do it anyway (rebel). But back to the OCD’s yes I have problems but then again so does everyone else so why should I be any different? Why should this not just be a re-iteration of everything that has been said before? Why can I not just express how I feel and then take it from there? In answer to all those questions I guess I just want to voice an opinion without being completely shot down for feeling that way, being different is good so why can that not just be accepted?

Moving on… (was that too fast?)

Back to the day job (for now)… So as I previously said I’m an accounts apprentice at a small property management firm, which is going pretty well at the moment but the reason why I’m here is kind of a long story because originally this was never where I had set out to be neither is it somewhere that I’d like to spend the rest of my days, it’s just for the now and not the forever (pretty sure that’s a quote from somewhere). To start off this time in 2015 I was all ready to embark on my adventure to university studying marketing because that seemed like the legitimate thing to do, but in all honesty it lasted about 7 weeks and then after a trip to Blackpool which resulted in me missing a week of uni I was definitely not interested in carrying this on any longer. And so the obvious thing to do was quit and find something else that perhaps wasn’t going to cost me nearly as much money or waste my time like university was for me. Of course I understand everyone is completely individual and will have their own views on this, but this was my choice and it’s now the thing that makes me happy, knowing that I actually made the right decision. Never before had I been a quitter or someone who would give up so easily but there was just no momentum, sure fresher’s weeks was ok and there weren’t that many contact hours but this was just not for me!

To finish this post up I’m going to conclude by saying that I plan to get something else up this time next week so Sunday 25th September is in my (metaphorical) diary and I promise I won’t quit this time. But thank you if you read this and thought, well that was bearable, maybe you’ll put up with me for just one more post. Who knows where we’ll end up at the end of this at least we could metaphorically have each others backs!

It’s all metaphorical, I mean life is just one huge metaphor right?

LIAM OUT!

 

P.S. Feel free to comment should you wish to do so 🙂