Past, present and future aside I guess this is where it gets real tough. So far I’ve tried to set out who I am, what I’ve been through and where I want to go, now for the more difficult part maintaining these thoughts and giving readers something worthwhile and enriching to read.
Let’s be honest and ask ourselves how much time do I have to spare today? Then question why you were drawn to reading this? Feel free to comment but that’s not important or what this is about; what I’m getting to is standing out and being different is actually so difficult. With the current 7 billion and upwards on the planet how are you as an individual supposed to even give this a shot?
However the world that many of us live in is actually pretty small, there’s probably if you’re like me about a handful of other individuals that I care about and rely upon. (With the exception of Kim Kardashian and every other lame celebrity that we are somehow interested in) These close others mean something to us but only because we have together shared some kind of experience or moment. It seems that childhood is just a forced experience, in school we’re all there to become ‘educated’ (supposedly) but socially this is also a big learning curve, with some of us falling and others rising to the top in the fight for dominance. As scary as this was, this is no way a true representation of the society that we really live in (sometimes referred to as the ‘living in the real world’). Moving on from that awkwardly deep procrastination, in blatant terms school ≠ life purely because it’s so forced and just means that failure is bound to happen. Maybe a more true model would be failure = life, but then moving on from this failure or ‘perceived’ failure is where things get interesting… The choice is yours!
Now for a more personal issue, a surprisingly sad and impacting event happened this week and well I guess it isn’t something that’s new to me or all that different from how my childhood was but I feel as though I should share it as there are definitely others that can relate. Welcome to 2016.
It was Wednesday evening and I was leaving for the gym (as I do pretty much every other dull Wednesday), already feeling a little tired at this point it must have been about 7pm. Gathering myself together and readying for physical exercise, which would definitely divide a group of teenagers think of it as pizza lovers vs healthy juicers. Anyway… it was part way through the car journey to the gym that this happened, setting the scene think dark sky, headlights, sitting behind the steering wheel, a popular radio station blasting. Then it struck me, remember at this moment in time that I was tired and exercise did not seem like a good first option, but I’m all for plan B’s, half way through my ride there I felt a little empty; lost and disoriented I reached down to do a double-check of my pocket, then the other. Confirmed! It wasn’t there! Do I turn home now to pick it up or do I prove to myself that actually I can cope without it?
If you hadn’t already guessed what this was I’d left my phone at HOME! (tragic)
The feeling in that moment was that I was so disconnected from the world, what if someone text or I was needed in an emergency, more importantly how was I going to ‘gym’ without it? Then after the initial ‘Shit it’s at home’ it crossed my mind that realistically this is so 100% sad and I can definitely cope without it? Surely? Concluding this borderline ‘story’ come desperate side note, I didn’t go home even though it was a close 50/50 split, instead I carried on, went to the gym and actually felt a little better for it. No lies it was pretty tense, with no earphone barrier to defend me from the dreaded protein heads, but happily this over-thought fantasy never surfaced and at most I was un-contactable for an hour at least (not that anyone entirely cared) :/.
Post phone-gate and failure = life, I feel as though it was a pretty ‘decent-ish’ week. Nothing too amazing happened there were anxiety filled moments but nothing that I totally couldn’t deal with.
*Prays to the well-being Gods for another livable week* 🙂