Inspiration this week was drawn from the strangest events, perhaps even the most insignificant but meaningful ones. But despite the titling I can confirm that the erotic girl on the train was definitely not something I enjoyed. Here it goes… Picture it as Friday 21st October and I was on my usual very (emphasis on the very) crowded train home it was 5:36 that it all began. Me feeling tired, sleepy and a bunch of other shitty emotions but that’s not the focus here. As I did my usual walk-run from work to the train station just so I could at least have some standing space when I got on was something dreams were made of. Sadly to my usual discontentment I was stood in a pretty awkward position just praying that the train would leave on time and any unnecessary personal space invasive conversations were not started.
A few minutes before we were due to leave things got very close and I was pretty much struggling to find some space to ‘inadvertently’ fall asleep whilst stood up. A side note here before you ask, yes I do this pretty often call it resting my eyes or whatever you want but it actually feels so good after work. Back on ‘track’ anyway *tries to take credit for unplanned train based pun*, so a group of teenage/young adult girls came onto the train specifically my carriage they were stereotypically talking about makeup with one giving advice to the other two about what products she used… I won’t go on. Followed by the girls getting on another three or four people joined the carriage, at this point my sleeping and trying not to draw attention was completely off the cards, all of us now like sardines in a can with very little space to even reach my hands and rest them in my coat pockets. If ever there was a hashtag for this moment it would definitely be #AWKWARD, capital letters, bold, underline!
The train was going now, doors closed and one of the three girls was stood with her back to me, very close (maybe a little too much). Anyway during the ten or so minutes that I was on the train this girl was definitely enjoying herself, a little too much! I’m not sure that she meant it or was doing it intentionally but every time there was a jolt or even the slightest movement from the train it would be followed by a cheeky touching of my leg which was definitely not expected on a Friday evening, was it my closed eyes that caught her attention? Did she genuinely think I was asleep and that I wouldn’t notice? Who knows? All I can say is, I’m glad that she enjoyed herself and for my sake that it is now over and I’ll probably never see her again.
On another note I did for real go and see the ACTUAL girl on the train this week, Emily Blunt starred in this one before anyone questions are raised! This unlike my erotic version was intense on a different scale, well scripted and a lot more enjoyable. But that whole short-lived scenario made me think, why? Was she insecure, looking for attention or is this just how she behaved? To publicly do something like that and make me feel a little.. embarrassed, it’s disheartening and kind knocks my faith in humanity just a tad. But then I kind have to realise that this isn’t everyone and it’s just a small bad sample of society, seriously someone should show that girl some manners!
At least ask next time. Please.
Insecurities are painful, but we all have them in some way, shape or form whether you’re prepared to admit it or not. Talking about them and to an extent embracing them is helpful, this has definitely helped me along with many others in the past. Take some of the most iconic figures they all stood out and were different but they didn’t apologise or say ‘actually I am wrong’ because they knew that this wasn’t true and chances are others will always share the same thoughts. So this week and from now on being is what I shall be, in other words sorry but not sorry, I may apologise to some low indivduals for having a certain view, or doing a task in a specific way but not to the people that actually matter, that is what matters.
Take from this what you will, be that low individual or just open your mind and accept a difference of opinion.
And remember, watch out the erotic girl on the train is about!