Twenty sixteen. Two thousand and sixteen. Two zero one six.
They all mean the same of course, but this year was far from the same as any other. Things evolved, attitudes changed and now I’d go as far as saying I’ve become more of an ‘adult’. Quitting and moving on, taking new ideas in my stride and becoming a more open-minded person because of it. So I guess the idea here, or so I believe is that I look back at the ups and downs over this past year and tell you how I’ll change; well I guess I could dwell on the past but maybe if I just outline a few things that I think were important ‘eureka’ or turning point moments and then give them a rating on the richter scale. Now for anyone (like me) who has little or no knowledge of earthquakes and the richter scale, a small description call it a lesson in high school geography on this joyous topic. Courtesy of the internet.
P.S. If you do feel that you’re a whizz on this kind of stuff feel free to skip the diagram below
The Richter Scale – Measuring the Magnitude of Earthquakes
All I’m saying is that if its 8 or more then that moment was pretty destructive, if you’ll let me, now I shall begin by picking 4 moments that stood out across the entirety of twenty sixteen.
No. 1: Richter scale rating 6
So it was mid March and I guess it would have been around Easter time, things were getting pretty low and destructive emotionally. Like the diagram explains this rating ‘may cause major damage in populated areas’ and mentally it was exactly that, it was a dark time I felt alone, troubled and as though things were about to go downhill for the rest of the year. At the time I was seeing the doctor for feeling depressed, low and completely disfuntional to the rest of society, from here like every other similar story I was waiting listed and so the weeks past, I saw the doctor fortnightly. However, things gradually seemed to brighten up maybe it was the weather, I’ll never know for sure but what I will say is that eventually when I was actually referred and made it to the top of that what seems never ending list I was OK. The call arrived, it was a happy moment, when I could think about turning down the offer and me being me thinking of others who would benefit from the help which is so hugely needed.
No. 2: Richter scale rating 2
Moving forward chronologically, this time it was May (my birthday month) and oddly enough it was my birthday that is the focus of this moment. To be a bit more brief and not explain the presents that I had which may or may not have included money, clothes and deodorant… cheeky! It was a doubled birthday meal come farewell food for a girl at work, I was allowed to be happy because it was now my role for the taking but sadly she wasn’t so lucky. Overviewing that night we had American food, fries, burgers and drinks courtesouly flowing. The relaxation of the night and being able to properly let go within myself was probably the stand-out feature of this moment.
No.3: Richter scale rating 10 (Can totally destroy, not for the faint hearted)
The final point which I have chosen is a little personal, deep with floods of meaning. October would be the month, I’m sure of it because this gave me a fright more than halloween ever could or has. It was a Thursday evening around eight and I was out, alone just walking, freeing my head from a particularly anxiety filled day, cautiously breathing in the icy, mist filled air trying to desperately feel calmed and back to a more normal, rational state of mind. Now there’s a point of the walk where I come across a ledge, overlooking a huge field and below rocks are surrounding with no way of making it down. About 14 feet of pure air, free open space unoccupied and most definitely untouched. I won’t put it into words because I do not in any way want to think that within me is the capability of doing something that seems only acceptable in well… nowhere. What I will say is change happened and now I begin to picture that moment every time I’m low, lost or feeling worthless to anyone, simply because the adrenaline and fighting voice in my mind just wants to move faster, achieve greater and feel stronger than it ever has before. In no way am I trying to scare or put a downer on anyone’s new year, the point I am on the grasp of here is sometimes you have to hit new lows before you ever feel high or push your self to believe in you once again.
Here is my proposition and fight talk for you! Never ever doubt your beliefs or completely change who you are just because someone else is telling you to do so, even if they go as far as getting into your head and altering your ‘normal’. So looking ahead maybe you could do the whole ‘new year, new you’ just make sure that it’s because you want it or need to and you can almost never be far from greatness.
Happy New Year and best wishes, smile and think about my propositon for a while, now stop ✋ (Don’t overthink!)
2017 awaits us.