Pouring the boiling hot substance into a mug, drop in the flavour and infuse. Letting the taste strengthen with every second, perhaps adding a little sweetness to enhance the excitement, best served hot and freshly brewed. Once cold all lack of interest is gone, just poured down the drain with the rest of the bitter-sweet exes. Could it be tea? Conjuring over the lines again it sounds a little like every relationship I ever had, cold and not stirred enough for the full flavour to be unleashed.
Like tea, in relationships I can be pretty particular, always wanting more substance and less ‘please leave me alone’ which explains the very reason that I’m single and have either little to non or sudden impulsive wants for a relationship. Just someone to hold and flood away the thoughts would be nice, convincing myself to the idea though it has to be the right person; trusting, loving and familiar without too much of an idea of who I once was only where I am going.
Almost gone without saying, Valentine’s Day is upon us. Please I pray don’t be another reminder of how potentially introverted and in-social I can be, instead allow personal goals to be thought out and encouraged.
Allowing another throwaway to enter my mind was never the plan.
Not even surviving January, guess it was dry but it was me, I said goodbye, I had to.
Being positive and taking a deeper look into this feeling will only allow me to feel more emotionally forgotten so I sit up and love myself. Tomorrow’s fortune will never be forgone, opening my mind and seeking out another ‘potentials’ I feel it coming again, swearing that this time I’ll let the flavour infuse and maybe not expect every sip to be perfect or as good as the initial one. Programmed to fail is how I see it, perfection is what is expected yet it never surfaces. Unnervingly taking on the idea that perfection is too much, even the hottest summers day has a breeze or moment of shade.
The promise I’ve made to myself?
Try failure and that heartbreak diet a few more times before you call it a day and just settle for one cup to fill instead of many half full.