Read Me and Don’t Ignore :'(

Facebook algorithms trying to pick up on harmful depressing habits, fake disconnected messages from ‘friends’ asking if you’re OK only to never be truly acknowledged are all well and rosy but where’s the feeling, the real immersed experience and raw emotion? Someone who actually and yes I mean actually cares where are they at? Because right now all I want to do is screw up my duvet cover, cover my face and scream with every last vocal cord inside me.

Loneliness and maintaining friendships or even finding friends for that matter are so hard to come by it seems that if I actually went through my Facebook account and deleted all of the people I haven’t spoken to in the last 6 months there would be about exactly 0 shown next to the little ‘friends’ icon. Now yes I guess this is a cry for help because every single person who suffers the same fate knows exactly how this feels, not having really anyone to turn to, having family think you’re suffering and being portrayed by every other soul as weak or told to just ‘harden up a bit’.

How about, no?

Actually that’s not a question it should be a statement. How about, no!

Individuals may argue that we live in a feminine world where emotions, fashion, looks and mannerisms are becoming too dominant but I for one completely and truly disagree. After leaving education where your mind and body is surrounded by others non-stop, with the same old dramas of relationships and struggling to decipher what it is we should do with our lives, with this all being acted out in front of our very eyes. Social media making us hungry to know who went on to become the next big popular party animal at university or how the perfect couple are still together taking endless selfies of their latest break to Iceland, leaving only I, you and us to figure out the realities of all of this.

Sure there have been bright moments but these are only later foreshadowed by the dark looms of unhappiness and feeling unwanted by the world. Celebrities and public figures throwing their thoughts in, under-funded and left without a voice or vocal to speak for us. Becoming as fashionable as a pooch dragged along in a somewhat oversized handbag, to be popular is good but to be misinterpreted and badly portrayed is in fact the opposite, give me a voice, give me a purpose or just throw me away and write me off as another unpaid volunteer.

And so this is my scream, my unheard shout into the duvet cover for help. Let us be happy again, give us faith and a friend yet we don’t need hand holding nor a forceful dosage of medication instead fill our wants and satisfy our needs, let us be happy again.

Having read this back to my untamed mind I now feel as though I am ready to begin or continue on this pathway, this plea to be heard, noticed and paid attention to once more. My mind now has unloaded and de-clouded I feel as though for now at least I can breathe once more.

:’)

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